I Can Wait
by peachy626
Summary: Would O'Neill really have been able to leave everything that was said during the zatarc re-testing 'in the room' as Carter suggested?    Please read with kid gloves and an open mind - this is my very first fanfic! I enjoyed writing it, enjoy!


I Can Wait

It was raining when Jack O'Neill finally left Cheyenne Mountain after the Tok'ra Treaty Signing. It was also late – the hoopla over the President's visit and the zatarc incident meant the treaty document hadn't been signed until much later than planned. It had been a positive step forward but nobody really wanted to celebrate the history of it when one of their new allies had been killed on the ramp of their very own Gate Room only hours before. But still the engagement lasted longer than the very politics-phobic Colonel thought possible.

Daniel pulled out of the parking garage directly behind Jack's truck and as they cleared the main gate and came to the intersection where the base met with civilian traffic the archaeologist tiredly raised a hand in farewell and went left. Jack merged into the lane travelling the opposite direction and flicked on the radio. Some late night talk host was prattling on about recycling being the way to save the planet – "yeah right" though Jack, "that and big honking space guns, buddy".

He flicked it off again and in the silence left behind his mind wandered to all sorts of places that the day had left available to him – Anise (or was it Freya?) kissing him; almost being put into 'stasis' in case he was a timebomb; Teal'c looking at him weirdly ever since the machine had finally cleared him and Carter of being said zatarcs –

_Carter. _

He hadn't seen her after Martouf had been moved to the infirmary, he assumed she'd gone home, he assumed she was ok. But he was her CO and part of him thought he really should check, right? Hell who was he kidding, he needed to check on her – to see her. She'd looked so desperately sad when she'd trailed the gurney and he'd wanted to go to her then but duty smacked him in the face royally when Hammond ordered him into dress blues to attend the signing.

Only moments before Martouf died in her arms she'd stared into Jack's eyes and basically repeated his own words about why she had left out certain memories of their mission using the armbands. _She cared about him in a way totally off limits, she was more afraid of losing him than dying herself_ yada yada. When he'd hurried to her afterwards and released her from the machine in the few moments they had alone she'd said everything they'd both admitted could stay inside the room, could stay between them but -

A carhorn bleated behind him, jolted out of his thoughts Jack looked up with a scowl and realised the light had turned green but he made no move. He realised that the intersection he had unconsciously stalled at was the very one which could lead him home if he turned left and if he turned right…. Well that could only lead to trouble.

Just as the guy in the Chevy behind him started leaning on his horn again he flicked his blinker and turned.

The lights were on when he switched off his engine. The pretty pale blue house looked inviting and cosy yet Jack knew if he stepped foot outside of his truck what lay beyond the front door could lead to the total destruction of not only his career but more importantly, his heart. So he sat there in the dark and thought, and played it all out in his head, and had stupid embarrassing pretend conversations with himself and even considered calling Daniel who would tell him nothing helpful, liberal that he was. He had just retrieved an old gas receipt from his glove compartment to make a pro and con list when a movement caught his eye, he glanced up and saw her pass the window. In that moment the world stopped, the rain ceased its hammering on the roof of his truck and he just knew that every second of the last twenty minutes he'd spent sat pondering what the hell to do had been just a delaying tactic. He knew what he'd come here for and he knew quite simply he had to see her.

Even as he muttered "screw it" under his breath and dashed up her path and onto her sheltered porch he was thinking all he needed to do was clear the air, sort some ground rules, see she was ok…

Then she was there, in front of him. He blinked once or twice, insanely feeling a little mad with her for opening the door before he'd even rung the damn bell! He wasn't ready, he didn't know what to say, he had water running down his face and she was stood there barefoot, in pyjama pants and a vest looking at him like he should be talking. He swallowed and said the first thing that occurred to him.

"I have to know"

Even he wasn't sure what the four words meant but when she moved her head to one side and looked at him with her clear blue eyes, no longer red from crying, he suddenly _did_ know. He realised he had always, always known. Since the day he'd met her and tried his flyboy guff on her and been shot down.

He knew even as he stood dripping on her porch that she would step aside and let him in. Just as he knew when he stepped through her front door and faced her so closely he could see her pupils dilate and hear her breathing hitch that she would reach for him. He knew when one soft hand reached for his own and the other pushed the door closed that nothing could ever be the same.

They stood like that for what felt like hours, just silently staring at one another. They'd stood like this on Apophis' ship separated by a force field, inches apart and willing to die for one another. This time there was no invisible barrier, their joined hands were entwined and their eyes were not full of anguish as before but of heat and something that felt a little like fear. She made the first move and stepped closer to him, so close her breasts brushed his chest with every shallow breath. She pushed his dripping jacket down his arms and let it fall onto the welcome mat. Jack raised a hand and slowly traced the planes of her nose and cheeks and chin with featherlight touches, finally drawing the pad of his thumb across her lips, memorising the feeling and the way she parted them ever so slightly at his touch. When she fluttered her eyelids closed and tilted her face to him his own breathing shallowed and he involuntarily stepped closer still, closer than he thought possible. Every nerve and muscle in his body urged him to meet her upturned face in the kiss they had both waited so long for but the rational side of him knew there was no coming back from it.

Instead with the last of his strength he broke the silence and whispered "Look at me" to the one woman who he simply could not get out of his mind, the one woman he simply could not _have_ in his mind.

Sam's eyes opened slowly but she knew why he held back, he would destroy his own career for her – to be _with_ her, give it all up. But for her it could be the end of her military career before it had ever really begun. It could never be a one night stand, get it out of their system, it would mean changes and a whole new reality. Even as her mind knew these things her heart and every other part of her was murmuring to him "Kiss me".

She was stood on her tiptoes, a breath away from his own mouth when she uttered the words which would change his life. He felt as if he was dreaming as he softly brushed his lips against hers once, twice, before opening his eyes to look at her. She met his gaze and in response wound her hands into the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him down to meet her in a much less gentle kiss. Their mouths tugged and licked and sucked and Jack O'Neill suddenly found his hands exploring the soft skin at the base of Sam's back, quite of their own accord his fingers crawled under the waistband of her pyjamas and found the swell of her backside. For her part, Sam had quite expertly gotten half his shirt buttons undone and her fingers were crawling through his chest hair and splaying over his broad chest.

When breathing became an issue Jack broke the kiss and rested his forehead on that of the woman who was running her nails up and down his forearms. He dared to meet her eyes, not quite sure what he'd find when he did but all he saw was a lust addled haze and bruised lips from their passionate kissing. As he came back to himself he slowly trailed his fingertips up and down her sides, stopping just shy of touching her breasts and she arched slightly to try and meet his touch. When his hands returned to her waist he moved her slightly away from him and though immediately missing the contact forced her to meet his gaze.

What came out of Jack's mouth next was something even he himself he could never have imagined or believed he was saying. "I think we should stop…. I think I…we .. er need to talk". Sam's eyes opened and cleared. She lowered her hands and stepped away from his embrace before turning her back to him. Just as Jack was trying to decide whether to continue babbling about rules and right and wrong and the regs she walked away and disappeared into a room further down the hallway. Feeling like a complete idiot and wondering what the hell had made him say stop Jack stood and waited. Though what he was waiting for was a mystery even to him. Was she even coming back out? Should he leave? Should he go to her?

He slowly bent and collected his coat from the floor and had his hand on the doorknob when he heard her pad slowly behind him. He didn't turn, didn't dare, couldn't bear to see her face be it hurt or angry or sad. He simply said "I'm sorry" and prepared to walk back out into the rain.

He was almost out of the door before his mind registered that Sam had spoken and he half turned his head to make sure he'd heard her right.

"Stay tonight. Please. Just stay. I need you to be here with me."

He turned then and looked at her; the strong, brave woman whose more than capable hands he placed his life in every time they went through the 'gate and she looked so different and so small that his heart ached to hold her, to soothe her.

"I.. We" Jack started, he motioned vaguely with his hands, struggling to work out what to say or do. Sam put her finger gently to his lips to stop any more words and their eyes locked, saying a million things. She held out her hand and Jack pushed the door shut behind him and let her lead him into the room down the hall she'd disappeared into before.

The room that met him was undeniably Sam's bedroom, what with the big bed and all being a dead giveaway. He paused in the doorway and gave himself time to have the coronary that was threatening due to being in Sam's bedroom.

_At night. _

_With her holding his hand. _

_In her pyjamas. _

She looked at him shyly through her lashes and spoke quietly "It's ok, just stay. Just sleep. I need you to be with me". And like a little boy he let himself be directed to take off his boots. He daren't remove any more clothes for fear of them being the only thing stopping him from hoisting her against the very sturdy looking wardrobe and burying himself inside her.

Still, he laid on his side and Sam curled herself into the curve his body made. Their faces were millimetres apart. Noses just about touching, so close that they were breathing one another's air. One of Sam's legs snaked between his and though it rested only on his calf he suddenly realised he probably wouldn't get out of this alive. Her hand splayed on his chest and belly, skin meeting skin where the buttons she'd undone earlier remained so. Her eyes closed and quite without his permission Jack's fingers traced her spine in what was intended to be soothing and sleep inducing and relaxing and then… she moaned. Softly but unmistakably she moaned, and arched the small of her back. Their bellies suddenly came into contact and Sam's leg shifted with her movement and rested distinctly north of his calf.

Nearly choking on his own tongue as his now evident erection brushed her thigh he realised he simply was not a good enough man to have the willpower to deny her twice. Even so he almost failed to respond when she brushed her lips against his but as she pulled away is brain kicked in and he muttered "Damn it Carter" before pulling her face to his heatedly, crushing her lips with his own. Suddenly hands were everywhere and Sam had arched her body so that every part of her was flush with Jack, who moaned as her pelvis came into quite insistent contact with his erection. His hands strayed to her butt and pulled her closer, letting her grind herself into him until he thought he'd come from that feeling alone.

Slowly he rolled them over so Sam was laid beneath him, when he looked down at her she was flushed and a little dishevelled but he had never wanted her more. She was making short work of his remaining buttons and tried to push his shirt off his arms, though the sleeves had him trapped and he laughed against her mouth when she tried to help. Sitting up on his knees to finally free himself of the offending item he traced Sam's arms and rested them above her head. The movement caused the little vest to ride up over her midriff and he took advantage by peppering the tight drum of her belly with kisses and revelled in the quivers he created. As he pushed the vest further up she squirmed and panted, aching for the next touch, the next kiss, knowing where he was headed. When eventually he reached the bottom of the swell of her breasts he looked at Sam for confirmation but instead was rewarded with her quickly stripping the item over her head herself. As she reached for him and pulled him back for a bruising kiss she murmured against his lips "Just in case you changed your mind again…". Jack smiled against the kiss and delighted in the feel of her naked chest against his own. Her nipples were already hard points and rubbed deliciously against him.

It was almost too good to be real and as he kissed Sam slowly and deeply her movements became more urgent. He moved slightly to the side as he felt her small hands quite busily undoing his belt. He felt her pop the buttons on his jeans but wasn't quite prepared for her hand snaking inside the opening and smoothly stroking him. How he didn't come in her hand immediately was a mystery to him and as his eyes flew open his hands raised to the drawstring at her waist. Tugging it haphazardly he loosened her pyjamas and started pushing them past her hips. Sam wriggled a little to try and help but that only served to make her breasts jiggle against him and her hand tightened slightly on his penis. Moaning with a very urgent need against her collarbone he gave up trying to actually remove the damn pants and instead plunged his hand into the loose garment and placed his hand over her mound, rocking the hilt of his palm against her most sensitive spot while slowly entering her wet folds. He was rewarded with an audible gasp and a jerk of her hand, which stopped stroking him and instead latched onto his shoulder, She buried her face in his neck and sucked and licked at him while he moved his fingers in and out of her in steady strokes, mimicking what his cock was yet to do.

Inside her he could feel her walls tightening in response to his actions and knew she was close. She was tossing her head from side to side as her climax built. As she reached her point of no return Jack slipped another finger inside and rubbed her clit with his thumb until she all at once arched off the bed, into his hands and gasped loudly, begging him not to stop, keening his name breathlessly. As she came back to earth he stroked her gently and trailed his fingers up and down her chest and belly. She smiled shyly at him before kissing him slow and deep letting him know she was far from finished after waiting three years for him.

Partly to bring her down from her high gently and partly to let himself calm down enough not to embarrass himself by ending the show early Jack changed the pace to small, delicate kisses and featherlight touches to her back and arms. He could sense Sam's impatience and her growing urgency, so rolled them both over until they were close to the edge of the bed. He stood suddenly and she immediately looked confused and a little worried. As he took her hands and tugged her to her feet into his arms she still looked a bit baffled, clearly wondering what was happening. He tilted her chin to look into her clear blue eyes and whispered "Dance with me" to her. She half laughed "But there's no music". He moved his lips to kiss her shoulder and breathed into her ear, "Sure there is Carter, can't you hear it?" And as he started swaying to the silence she relaxed into his arms, content for the moment to listen to his heart beating in his chest, and feel his hand tracing her skin. After a few minutes of silently exploring her smooth shoulders and back Jack experimentally moved his hands to Sam's waistband, smiling when he heard her breath hitch slightly and her body tense in response. He pushed slowly and the loose garment offered little resistance as it cleared her slim hips and pooled at her feet. His hands followed the path of the pyjamas and smoothly covered her taut and smooth as silk backside. He palmed her buttocks and lifted her gently to her tiptoes so her naked centre now met his still evident arousal. Rolling her neck and shoulders in pleasure Sam captured Jack's mouth in a heated kiss as her hands went to his already unfastened pants. Pushing gently the jeans and boxers cleared his butt and coiled slowly to his ankles. Now free of the rough material Jack lifted Sam effortlessly into his arms, her legs automatically went round his waist and crossed at the small of his back. Hopping slightly to try and free his feet of his pants Sam wasn't helping matters by plundering his mouth and scraping her nails over his shoulders. He staggered once and put one hand out against the wardrobe to steady them both. She squeaked quietly as they both fell slightly forward and Jack swallowed her grin as he finally got his feet loose and pressed her fully against the solid furniture.

Her hands were in his hair and his hands were on her ass pushing her into his erection. She was circling her hips slowly and rubbing her folds and clit against his length, moaning into their kiss. "Christ" Jack thought "I'm not even inside her yet and I'm barely holding it together". Panicking momentarily he decided to try and distract her by lifting her slightly higher and suckling at her breasts. Though really this only made matters worse as she was now moaning more loudly and seeking to touch him between their almost joined bodies. Losing himself for a moment he didn't notice her pushing off the wardrobe gently and moving him ever so slightly towards the edge of the bed. Just as he realised what was happening the back of his knees bumped the mattress and he fell backwards, taking her with him. As they landed in a sprawl of limbs Sam's giggle was cut short by the fact his swollen manhood had accidentally poked inside of her entrance just a little. The air left his lungs as Jack struggled to decide what to do. Should he lift her off and take it slow or do what he really wanted to do and slam her down onto him so that he could feel her all around him?

The decision was taken away from him when she flexed her internal muscles and slowly, agonisingly slowly, lowered herself onto him. When she finally rested on his lap, straddling him they both looked down at their joined sexes and moaned in unison. Jack's hand snaked up to hold her neck as he pulled her face to his in a kiss that could've melted ice and Sam slowly flexed her thigh muscles to lift herself slowly up his cock before lowering herself again, seemingly drawing him deeper into her core with every stroke. Moaning loudly into her mouth he encouraged her movements with a hand on her hip and even though she had intended to ride him slowly, gradually her movements became faster until she felt his hand creep between them and touch her clit once, twice and she was gone again, shaking and flexing around him, fingers digging into his shoulders, forehead resting against his as she breathed hard.

Jack lost the ability to speak as he watched her come and even before she'd come down properly he used her glazed afterglow to manoeuvre her into a different position. Raising her off his aching cock he turned her onto her side. Spooning up behind her he recaptured her wet sex easily and holding her against him he started pumping himself into her with increasing urgency. As she slowly regained her bearings Sam joined him in the rhythm and pushed herself back into him with every thrust as he withdrew. Her hand snaked behind him and clutched his ass, holding him to her even harder. Lifting her top leg she pushed her foot against her headboard and felt Jack slide even deeper into her. He knew it wouldn't be long as his balls tightened and his belly coiled and he mauled her breasts almost roughly as she pushed harder against him moaning his name and begging him to go "harder, deeper, faster…please". She reached down and stroked at her clit in time with him entering her, and seeing her touching herself finally tipped him over the edge. He gasped against her shoulder and buried his face in her back as he emptied himself into her with two powerful thrusts. As he slowed his actions he reached down and covered her own hand with his own, touching her for a few moments before she exploded around him once more. Her walls enveloped him and his softening arousal twitched in response.

As they both tried to get their breathing under control Jack tangled his legs with Sam's and pulled her close to him, holding her against him as close as possible. He could feel her tensing slightly and saw her cheek move as she bit her lip. He placed an open mouthed kiss with a smile on her shoulder and said quietly "I can hear you thinking y'know." She breathed out a smile and without turning said "I was just thinking.. y'know what now?" He traced patterns on the taut skin of her tummy and whispered "I love you". She tried to turn and look at him but he held her in place, knowing it would be impossible to say what needed to be said with her looking at him.

"I love you" he repeated. "But I can wait for you"

She was silent.

"I have loved you every day for the last three years and I will love you every day for as long as you'll let me but we're good together Sam, as a team. I don't want to lose that to get this – no matter how amazing – because the woman I fell in love with is soldier you, my second in command you, science geek you." He tickled her ribs gently. "I won't let you lose your career for us."

She was still silent. "Not when I can be satisfied for now with this and everything else you give me. When I can wait for when we're both ready to do this wholeheartedly".

She was still silent but at a loss of how better to say what he was trying to say he almost missed her quiet "Ok". She tried to turn again and this time he let her, she tangled her hands in his chest hair and met his eyes before repeating "Ok". Her eyes closed and Jack pulled the comforter over them. He tried to stay awake as long as he could to revel in the feel of her pressed against him, of her soft breath on his chest, to memorise every noise and movement she made. But eventually sleep claimed him and when he slept he dreamt of her and what could one day be.

It had been a couple of years since their one perfect night together and the first few days of accidental electric touches and furtive almost uncomfortable glances had evolved into a truce that only they knew about. Sometimes when he was in her lab annoying her she'd catch him staring at her and feel the air change. Usually Teal'c or Daniel would save them by walking in at the wrong, or right, moment whichever way you looked at it.

They never spoke about their night in her bed and sometimes it was almost as if it'd never happened. Jack wondered in the moments when she'd catch him looking at her if she knew whether he was wondering if she still waited and wanted like he did.

Standing in the 'gate room geared up and ready to ship out to P3X something or other Jack watched the dial on the gate spin and the chevrons lock. He fiddled with his hat and checked his P90, did a mental check of his team. The seventh chevron was next and he prepared for the wormhole to splash out at them. But instead the gate just.. kinda died and all the lights went off. He looked quizzically at Carter and raised his eyebrows. "Sir" she said as she turned and jogged into the control room to check what the problem was.

After a few minutes of idle banter with Teal'c and Daniel he turned and yelled up to her "C'mon Carter what's the dealio? We goin' or what?" She leaned into the microphone and said "Sorry Sir, I'm running a diagnostic, I don't know why the gate won't lock. It's gonna take some time".

Huffing a breath out he waved a hand at the two men stood next to him, a silent "Let's go get some lunch while she fixes it" kinda motion. Then he looked up at her before turning to leave the Gate Room and yelled "It's ok, I can wait". Almost as soon as the words left his lips her eyes flicked sharply up and locked with his own. A blush crept into her cheeks and she looked back busily at the monitor in front of her. Drawing his eyes away he smiled wide and left the room after Teal'c, whistling under his breath and knew that some day it would all be just fine.


End file.
